“How do I stop thinking about the election?”
“What bad things will happen next?”
“It will always be bad for me.”
At first, some of these statements look like depression, don’t they? Hopefully you would agree that we live in uncertain times (has it ever been certain?). After questions like this; the human mind will likely go to find more information from a trusted news source, their news feed, or their friends. Somehow this information rarely makes you feel better.
Why is this election stressing me out?
Have you ever wondered what it would be like to run an insurance agency, a casino, or maybe even your own fortune telling business? How do those astrological forecasts get it SO RIGHT? (It’s true! I’m moody AND I DO like long walks on the beach!)
To get these working; you would have to know some numbers. What is the chance you will get 21 in blackjack? What might the vast majority of people born in February enjoy (Who doesn’t like long walks on the beach?) If you offer insurance to someone, then what is the risk they might get into a costly accident?
Ultimately, each of these situations involves two large elements and an ENORMOUS cognitive error. The elements are UNCERTAINTY and RISK. Fortunately, the error clues us in to something we can do about the anxiety that these situations cause.
Uncertainty
Have you ever flipped a coin to decide something? You (or your friend) flip a coin in the air. Someone ‘calls’ it (heads or tails). Then, the coin lands in your hand and you quickly cover it with your other hand. The feeling changes, doesn’t it? We went from something chaotic and impossible to monitor to a definite result! Further, because you covered it with your hand, neither of you know the result!
The anxiety that covered coin causes is due to uncertainty. You simply do not know how the coin toss turned out and your mind anticipates learning the results. If you are right in your guess, then you feel good! If you aren’t right, then you likely will feel the same or perhaps a bit lower.
“Hey, you didn’t say why you did a coin toss!”
Exactly, that brings us to…
Risk
The coin toss is a method to make the uncertain certain. The other part of this is why you were tossing the coin?
Was it to figure out who gets the football?
Was it to decide who will go pick up the pizza?
Was it for your freedom?
Was it for your immortal soul?
Wow. That got dark. Fast.
Why would you say that? Each of these are the same, right?
OF COURSE NOT!
Getting the football is an inconvenience.
Going to pick up pizza costs me maybe 15 minutes.
Losing my freedom costs me my decision making ability for life.
Losing my soul could mean… well, I’ll leave you to think about that the next time you wake up at 3am and decide you don’t want to stay awake with coffee.
You can thank me later.
While each of these are all or nothing situations, the last two (freedom and soul) are ENORMOUSLY more costly than the first two.
That sinking feeling you just got? That’s risk.
What Do You Do About This Election Anxiety?
Well, my first tip would be to stop spending time in that Faust VR simulator and talking to people at crossroads with violins, fiddles, or other musical instruments.
(I bet Weird Al could beat him at accordion).
Secondly, when there exists uncertainty (like in a contested election) that has enormous risk ( also like a contested election); remember that YOU CANNOT TELL THE FUTURE.
Your brain will try to tell you otherwise. “If you just read more… If you just think more… if you JUST RUMINATE ONE MORE MOMENT…”
It’s a lie.
All that will bring you is suffering and, over the long haul, misery.
Misery in that compound interest kind of way.
First, GENTLY remind youself that you cannot predict the future.
Next, kindly redirect your thoughts on the present moment.
Third, ground yourself in this moment using your senses.
Lastly, DO SOMETHING ELSE AND STOP THINKING.
Repeat after me.
““Brain, thank you… AND you cannot tell the future. Right now, I’m in my bedroom. I smell… coffee. I hear… harmonica and singing (because I love the blues, right?) I feel… the edge of my desk under my forearm. I taste… a sweet and bitter on my tongue (likely from drinking coffee with creamer).
I ACCEPT THAT I HAVE DONE EVERYTHING I CAN AND HAVE NO CONTROL ON THE BEHAVIOR OF OTHERS.””
Redirect your brain kindly and put yourself in the moment, and remind yourself that you can only control yourself.
START YOUR FAVORITE MUSIC.
MIX YOUR FAVORITE BEVERAGE.
LET THAT PERSON KNOW YOU LOVE THEM.
START LIVING.
Take it easy.
Stay safe.
Don’t let ‘em get you down,
Chris Hutcheson, LCSW